A big key to happiness
Mom and I flew to Oregon this weekend to visit Nathan and
Wendy, and see Jayden and Kylie. What fun! On the flight there, we sat next to
a really nice young man who was flying to Oregon to visit his girlfriend’s
family. We joked with him that visiting a girlfriend’s family sounded pretty
serious, but he laughed it off, and said that though they had been living
together for a few years, and though he loved his girlfriend and her family, he
wasn’t ready to commit yet.
I then told him that almost every marriage goes through
seasons – Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Many marriages fail when they are
going through their winter season. But many professional studies have followed
couples who were in their winter season, and followed them for years to see how
things worked out. For those who stuck it out, rather than giving up, they
found that they were in a new Spring of their marriage, and that the new Spring
was even better than their first.
What I didn’t say – and wish I had – was that it proves that
commitment is a huge part of happiness. It leads to growth and contentment.
Committed people work through their disagreements rather than writing people
off. And if that’s true, then he should hurry and commit to marriage. It’s
true.
Mom and I have experienced seasons in our marriage too. We
talked, worked things out, better understood the others needs and better
understood our own insensitivities. It’s made all the difference. We’re so much
closer now than we ever were during ‘the honeymoon’ and dating phase.
Commitment and Responsibility were two big themes I heard my
dad, Grampy, talk about a lot growing up. He knew what he was talking about,
and exemplified it every day of his life. This is one thing that I learned from
my dad – commitment is a secret to happiness. It applies to most areas of life –
work, family, school, even recreation. Marriage is just one area that blossoms
under the light of commitment. I’m sure I’ll have future thoughts on commitment
in these other areas.
For commitment and responsibility to work, you have to build
on simple principles of patience, faith, hope, love, forgiveness, and
repentance. Grampy exemplified these principles. These are everyday necessities
in the home, and in families. They are, in fact, expressions of commitment and
responsibility.
Life is hard. Relationships are hard. But it is worth all
the tears, hard conversations, and effort.
